You Can Miss Something & Not Want it Back
Two things can be true at the same time. You can miss something and not want it back.
I don’t remember where I was when I heard this phrase for the first time, nor do I remember who said it to me but I think about it often. So thank you to whoever it was that casually dropped this nugget of emotional knowledge on me at some point in the last few years.
Whether I am going through a break up, losing a friend or going no contact with a loved one - this phrase always finds its way to me in the moments where I am feeling too many things at once.
Hold space for both of these truths.
I miss you.
I do not want you back.
You can miss something and not want it back.
This phrase helps cancel out that voice in the back of my head that says “I should call them” when I am feeling lonely or sad. It helps validate the complexity of my loss without invalidating my current stance. It just helps succinctly put everything into words and I am always striving for that: a way to explain my feelings to myself so I can carry them a little easier.
Two things can be true simultaneously, two seemingly conflicting things can exist at the same time. There is no right or wrong way to feel things but there are definitely tools to help you out when you’re feeling them. This phrase is one of those for me and maybe it will help you out too.